fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize