Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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