There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
