Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Green mimosas i think yes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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