her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
