maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
