is this the sara with the beer cane?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize