Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
