Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
