wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
