I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
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