Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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