You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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