I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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