Non-Jews are for practice
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
