I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
