i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
