Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't deserve a penis
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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