Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize