hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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