Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
