they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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