The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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