i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
