it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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