and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
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