"it" just moved
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
