he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Mom said you looked used
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
