worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
