walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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