he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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