Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize