Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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