New low: just hacked my moms facebook
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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