He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
