Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
