Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You did what with his pubic hair?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
