I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
