I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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