I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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