Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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