even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I love you.
Bad choice
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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