I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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