these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
