the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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