so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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