i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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