..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
