There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
