the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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