She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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