Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
