She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
