I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
