Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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