why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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